Every so often, and maybe a whole lot, as a mom I have to stop and ask myself: “Who is driving this thing?”
Because I get caught up.
I get caught up in crazy.
If you’re a mom, I think you know exactly what I’m talking about and I don’t have to say another word!
But in case you’re not a mom, here’s what it means to get caught up in crazy:
It has to do with our current parenting culture of trying to do it all, plan it all, anticipate it all, control it all, make it all come out well. These efforts are bold and beautiful, but they are impossible! And that’s where the “crazy” comes in.
I’m not sure when this became part of the American fabric, but for better or worse, that’s part of our parenting culture today.
There are so many times when I see clearly how messed up it can be, but that doesn’t stop me from jumping in, both feet first!
But not yesterday.
Instead, yesterday, I did the things that matter most.
Because I:
- baked with the kids, and got flour all over the kitchen
- sang with my family at the top of our lungs
- read the Bible at the dining table, and shared all the things we could thank God for
- went for a bike ride, and got caught in the rain
- paid attention to paying attention
- and said, “I love you” a whole lot of times, all day long
So what about you and the people you love? Do you get caught up too?
I think so many of us struggle with the pace and intensity of modern family life. Yet we yearn to climb off the runaway train and get down to what matters most.
I believe that with attention and intention, we can do it. We can decide that just being together is infinitely precious and worthwhile. And then follow through with how we spend our time.
It doesn’t have to be a marathon of fun all day every day – that’s not realistic either!
But it’s those small choices with our time we make, day in and day out, that start to add up.
Maybe the little start I had yesterday can grow up into something bigger.
And maybe it can give you a little start, too.
Question: Do you ever find yourself caught up in a fast-paced family lifestyle? What do you do to slow down and enjoy one another?
Warmly,
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Copyright Dr. Ann 2012
(photo credit: anankkml)
What a lovely way to spend a day and what a tremendous message of love to send to your children!
Some of my fondest memories are cooking with our girls when they were little! When we needed some downtime, we would often go for a walk and look for beauty. It was always refreshing to get a little exercise and a fresh perspective!
Kim, It’s great to hear that your special times with your girls are still so vivid in your heart today. I’m sure it’s the same for your daughters, and it makes me realize that it is so worth it!
~ Ann
I think we are on the same wave length, Ann. It’s just so important to focus on the important rather than the urgent and connect with our loved ones. I’m so glad that you gave yourself to your children and a “divine day.” I’m sure the time you spent with them will last, and the laundry and house cleaning can wait. It’s always going to be there, but your kids won’t! Great reminders for all of us!
Hi Beth,
I love your phrase, “a divine day”! It really was. Thanks for your on-going encouragement and wisdom in this journey of motherhood!
~Ann
Well said! It is all about “attention and intention.” I want a night like your yesterday, tonight! Thanks for reminding me to be intentional. Love this blog!
Dr. Mari – I know you’ll have a wonderful tonight with the people you love dearly! Blessings,
Ann
Sounds like a wonderful day! The one thing I love most about homeschooling is the rat race rush does not exist. We do get really busy with church stuff sometimes and it can be overwhelming. I try to remember it is just a season! You have so much wisdom I love your blog. I thought I had subscribed via email but I have not been getting them. I re signed up today
That comment was from me I forgot to sign in
Hi there,
Thank you for weighing in on the blessings of home schooling! We have friends who homeschool, and they definitely have less of the rush and crush temptation. It really is a season! Thanks ~ Ann
Smiles – thanks Tesha!
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What a timely post Ann! I was feeling ‘caught up with crazy’ today, from the moment I woke up until the moment the girls went to bed tonight. Thanks for putting into words exactly what I was feeling, and reminding me of what I need to do to truly enjoy my family.
I like how you said, “paid attention to paying attention”. We can all do the things that matter most but without giving our whole self to the moment, our full undivided attention to the people that matter most, then it just becomes part of the crazy. Tomorrow I begin with a new lens.
Love your blog!
Hi Paula – It’s great to hear from you here! I definitely relate to your point about full, undivided attention, as I can multitask to a fault, and get nothing really done anyway. Like you, I don’t want to miss the boat with the people who matter most. Thanks for your wise insights!
A good friend once gave me a perfect acronym.
B-Being
U-under
S-satan’s
Y-yoke
I think this can apply here (or anywhere we’re getting caught up in the crazy.)
Excellent post. When I feel like life is spinning around me, I can bet every time that my time with God is off. I’m not spending time with Him enough, or putting Him at the center of our home. The best way for me to regain focus is to “seek first his kingdom”. When I have the obedience to follow through with this. Life flows so much sweeter, and it just seems to trickle down to the kids and my husband.
It’s good to see you, btw. It’s been awhile!
Adrienne, Thanks for that acronym! It’s so funny, because I had another friend share that with me a couple of years ago, and it really stopped me in my tracks. You make a great point about that sense of life spinning around us being directly related to whether or not we’re walking closely with God. It’s so true! Great to see you here again!
What a great post, thanks for sharing. Perfect timing for me as I get caught up in crazy all the time! (especially today).Thanks for reminding me to slow down. As a family, we play board games together to slow down, which we might give a try tonight
Raquel
Hi Raquel – we love board games too. It’s a great way to get together. I hope you had a wonderful family night together!
If Dr Ann gets caught in The Crazy then there’s hope for me… you’ve at least studied why we do it…
Some days I grumble about how I may as well be an only parent… and some days I just glow with pride at my full family sitting in the living room around me. I don’t think God ever intended for us to get so wrapped up in this crazy life – I think that’s the devil trying to distract us. We need to simplify. And when you’ve worked out how to do that… you can let me know!! I’ll sign up straight away.
In from SITS.
“We need to simplify” – so true, Jenn! It is definitely an on-going struggle. Thanks for stopping by.
Love your post. I am a mom to 3 kids ages 12 to 6. I get it. I spend my days nagging, yelling, reminding. Not really present and liking the person I am. When I have those rare moments of being present and take the time to actually have a conversation, I can breathe and I enjoy life. But those moments are rare and pass quickly.
We have all been there Jennifer! And I may be going there again soon : ) But it’s worth it to stop and take the big-picture in, isn’t it? Blessings,
Ann
I cut back on crazy sometimes, but I need to do it a lot more, so I can enjoy the people God has blessed me with.
Thanks for sharing and Happy SITS day!
Sure by now you know I am visiting from SITS!
http/www.ugochi-jolomi.com
This is so true about slowing down to take it all in. Moms try to multitask so many things and it is really the little moments that make life matter! I am following you on Twitter – Happy SITS Day!
Wow! What a great post! I often get caught up in the crazy…always trying to do it all. This is a great reminder of just kicking back with the kids and spending quality time together. We are always together- but together, together- like baking and crafts or playing board games is true quality time together.
Thank you for this- it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my crazy…one of the reasons i started writing my blog- so other mom’s wouldn’t feel alone in theirs!
I recently started homeschooling. I sort of expected it to be just more busyness but I’ve been surprised at how much we get to really enjoy each others company through this! I thought it would be stress and more to do and sometimes it is but often we are more relaxed after that time together.
Oh I get caught up in crazy all the time. I slow down in some of the same ways you write about here – focusing on what really matters and not letting the crazy distract me.
Great post!
Oh my yes. All the time. And then I stop, take a deep breath, regroup and step away from the crazy, even if just for a little while. Happy SITS day!
Such a great post! The idea that we can do everything and do everything better in this culture is suffocating. Reminders like this are so important.
I’m visiting from the Sits Girls. I loved this article too! I am trying really hard to let go a little and just enjoy my kids and their messes more lol. This is our last week before school starts and I am really wanting to just have a fun relaxed week with them. =)
What a great article! It’s hard not to get caught up in crazy. I agree that it’s important to slow down and make the time for things that really matter. Create some memories!! Happy Sits Day!
Happy sits day! I agree that we need to enjoy all those little moments and not worry about all the details. Living with a chronic illness has really helped me focus on the important things!
Hi Dr. Ann! Stopping by from SITS today. This is so easy to do. My kids are a bit older now, but I always tried to keep them at only one extra activity at a time. Even that keeps you jumping. Our best memories though are simple things together like sitting and watching an old movie.
Paying attention to paying attention … a true challenge for me!
You definitely hit on a parenting hot button! It is so difficult to achieve balance and feel like your kids are missing out. So many activities, so many options (and so much guilt if we aren’t utilizing them all for the betterment of our children). I’ve purposely made our family slow down and cut out so much extra stuff. Just spending time together is often the best thing you can do as a family!
It sounds like you had a wonderful day! It reminded me that I need to cut back on some of the crazy as well!
My goal is always to make the least amount of commitments possible. I find that when I say Yes to everyone else, I end up saying NO to my family, and certainly NO to myself. I limit myself to 2 weekly commitments, and stick to it. That leaves lots of time to focus on the things that matter most to me.
Visiting from SITS. With each of my daughters there were certain things that had to happen. Allergies and health issues were enough to control our days. I did learn to say no but also yes. Yes to mess but not dirt. Yes to getting to church a little late. Yes to accepting that Life Happens.
sounds like a great day! it is the little things that matter – cherishing the special moments with our families.
Visiting from SITS. This is a wonderful post and I’m really looking forward to reading more. I’ve bookmarked your blog!
Here from SITS and loving your blog. Looking forward to following you. And yes, I too get caught up in the crazy! For me, some quiet time colouring or playing with trains helps a lot. But my favorite is family sing along to Old MacDonald Had a Farm
I am not a mom. I’m a fur mom. So much easier. I listen to the podcast For Crying Out Loud – two moms sharing about parenthood and other stuff in a hilarious podcast. I love it. And I’m blown away by what parenting entails.
Thanks for sharing your story! And happy SITS Day!!!
Kimberly
I totally get caught up in the crazy! I love your list of living with wonderful, recklessly loving abandon.
I’m not a mom, but I found myself feeling this way about life in general recently. It was time to stop and reconnect with the things that truly matter.
Beautiful post. Really enjoyed it. In South Africa we have a word that we use/misuse and that is “hectic”. Ask a working mom how things are going, or anyone really – answer will be “hectic”. Which I guess is all about being caught up in the crazy. After a while you get addicted to it, and maybe even think it somehow indicates that you are doing something valuable. It’s great to read this post and just remember the real priorities and where the real treasure is. Thanks. Happy SITS day!
Happy sits day, and I totally relate to this! great post.
I can relate to this post. It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day rush that we don’t take the time to breathe and enjoy our families. A great reminder to slow down and connect more.
I get caught up in crazy all. the. time! So today we made Kool Aid popsicles and read together and watched movies. We can catch up on our homeschool schedule next week!
Found you on SITS. I love your post. I will be adding you to my blog roll. Thank you so much for some very needed reality!
I also found you because you were a featured blogger on SITS. To answer your questions…
Nope, I never find myself in a fast paced lifestyle because I don’t have the patience for it. I like to do things and do them right. Most of the time that means taking my time. Really…ALL of the time it means taking my time lol… We are an active duty military family, so moving is all we do. Since his commission date in 2005 up to now we have been moved every 3 years like clock work. I would say it is stressful lol…but I love to travel so much it doesn’t bother me like it bothers some wives. Every once in a while when we’ve been somewhere for 2 years a feeling creeps up on me… The “I have no real roots” feeling…when that happens I feel like signaling my husband that life is moving a little to fast for us, but in reality life only moves as fast as we allow it to. We have total control, most people just don’t realize it. But I DO! Lol…life is short and I am not going to waste my time running around with my head cut off! =)
LOVE this post! I am such a firm believer in taking time to just be a family. But in today’s fast paced society most people find themselves overly scheduled and unable to just enjoy being with and appreciating their family. I really can’t wait to check out more of your blog!
Love your description: “together, together.” I know what you mean by that!
I appreciate you sharing your perspective and your practical tip about limiting activities – thanks, Colleen!
There is such beauty in simplicity – I agree with you completely!